New study on the motives behind kissing
In the movie The Princess Diaries, Mia Thermopolis is looking for a first kiss that gives her the foot pop—where she lifts her foot off the ground kissing. Turns out, those Disney movies might not be all cheese when it comes to the importance of a kiss. A new Oxford University study suggests kissing helps us size up potential partners and, once in a relationship, may be a way of getting a partner to stick around.
“Kissing in human sexual relationships is incredibly prevalent in various forms across just about every society and culture,” says Rafael Wlodarski, researcher in the Department of Experimental Psychology at Oxford University. “Here’s a human courtship behaviour which is incredibly widespread and common and, in extent, is quite unique. And we are still not exactly sure why it is so widespread or what purpose it serves.”
Wlodarski explains: “There are three main theories about the role that kissing plays in sexual relationships: that it somehow helps assess the genetic quality of potential mates; that it is used to increase arousal (to initiate sex for example); and that it is useful in keeping relationships together.”
The researchers surveyed over 900 adults aged between 18 and 63, with around 55% in a long-term relationship at that time. 308 men and 594 women answered questions like: ‘How important do you think kissing is at the very initial stages of a relationship?’ or ‘How important do you think kissing is with a committed long-term partner immediately before sex/during sex/after sex/at all other times?’
The scintillating findings:
-
Women rated kissing as generally more important in relationships than men.
-
Men and women who rated themselves as being attractive, or who tended to have more short-term relationships and casual encounters, rated kissing as being more important.
-
Kissing was rated by women as more important in long-term relationships (perhaps because it helps form and keep attachments)
-
In short relationships, kissing was most important before sex, less so during sex, was less important again after sex and was least important at other times.
-
In committed relationships, where forming and maintain a lasting bond is an important goal, kissing was equally important before sex and at times not-related to sex.
-
More frequent kissing in a relationship was linked to the quality of a relationship, while this wasn’t the case for having more sex.
“Mate choice and courtship in humans is complex,” says Professor Robin Dunbar. “It involves a series of periods of assessments where people ask themselves ‘shall I carry on deeper into this relationship?’ Initial attraction may include facial, body and social cues. Then assessments become more and more intimate as we go deeper into the courtship stages, and this is where kissing comes in.”