Asking for what you want is important just for that reason
by Cindy Myska, co-founder & managing director of DailyHap; this article is inspired by this Advice from a Daaaaawg.
Asking for WHAT YOU WANT helps establish your identity as an individual. It helps you remember that you have a right to your individual wants, likes, tastes, fears, worries.
Asking for WHAT YOU WANT allows you to put one step forward into the world, to experience yourself within that world, and to change and grow.
Asking for WHAT YOU WANT does not mean anything else. Asking for WHAT YOU WANT does not mean you will get it. It does not mean you will not get it. It does not mean you will be seen as demanding. It does not mean you will not be seen as
Most people think that if you ask for WHAT YOU WANT and get it, then you asked correctly. If you do not get it, you must have asked amiss. Courageously asking for WHAT YOU WANT only to feel rejected if you don’t GET it, defeats the purpose of asking for WHAT YOU WANT.
Asking for what you want, without the expectation that GETTING it makes it worthwhile, allows for flexibility and change.
Removing the hook of GETTING IT from WANTING it allows you to let go of judgments about your Wants.
Sometimes you do not want today what you wanted yesterday. And yet you have been taught that you have to be sure of your decisions, that mistakes are bad, and that you must be ultra sure before you express WHAT YOU WANT. The net result, then, is that you fail to ask for WHAT YOU WANT because you are afraid you will be wrong.
Removing the judgments about why you did not get what you wanted, or that you should have gotten what you wanted if you asked, allows you the flexibility to change WHAT YOU WANT. You are free to express WHAT YOU WANT openly and often without the fear that you have set it in stone by expressing it.
WHAT YOU WANT then becomes a gentle teacher, simply teaching you about yourself.
WHAT YOU WANT simply becomes an expression of who you are into the world no different than the clothes you wear each day or the color of your hair.
Go ahead, ask for what you want and let that be the reward. You did it. You expressed your individuality, you thoughts, your desires. You became vulnerable, and willing to be yourself. That is the win. It really does not matter if you “get” what you want. The win is the asking, the expression of yourself into the world.
Image: some rights reserved by Pierre Lognoul